Silence
Meditating for the First Time: Where to Begin
Short answer — There is nothing to get right. Meditation is not a performance. It is a way of sitting with what is there. Guided meditation allows you to enter this practice without having to build anything on your own.
What you imagine before you start
Most people who meditate for the first time arrive with a fairly precise picture of what it should be: an empty mind, a still body, a feeling of inner peace, perhaps a soft light behind the eyelids. This picture is almost always wrong.
It comes from images: people sitting in lotus position, hands resting on their knees, faces serene. It also comes from what you hear — that some people meditate for an hour a day, that it changes everything, that it transforms you. These accounts, however sincere, describe a practice that has been established for years. They do not describe the first few times.
The first few times, it is often uncomfortable. Your back pulls. Thoughts follow one after another. You think about the shopping list, about a conversation from yesterday, about what you are going to eat this evening. You wonder whether you are doing it right. You open one eye to see whether the others are moving.
All of this is normal. It is not failure. It is exactly what everyone experiences.
The most common mistake: believing you have to empty your mind
This is probably the most widespread belief, and the most discouraging. You sit down, thoughts arrive, and you conclude that you are not cut out for meditation.
Meditation is not about stopping thoughts. It is about noticing that you are thinking — and returning. Returning to the breath, to the sensation in the body, to the guide's voice, if there is one. This movement of return, repeated, is the practice itself. Thoughts are not the enemy. They are the material.
Over twenty-seven years of guiding retreats, Fabiana has often observed this: people who enter the room believing they must block their thoughts come out exhausted, frustrated, convinced they have missed something. It is not the meditation that has failed. It is the inner instruction that was wrong.
Why guided meditation makes all the difference
Meditating alone, at the beginning, is like learning to swim without water. You can read every technical description, but it does not have the same substance as being in the water.
Guided meditation offers something simple: a voice that directs your attention. It says: return to the breath. It says: notice what is happening in your shoulders. It gives concrete anchoring points, at regular intervals, that prevent you from getting lost in a stream of thoughts without ever finding a foothold.
For someone who has never meditated, this guidance makes a real difference. You do not have to build the structure yourself. You do not have to decide when it is over. You follow, and in that following, something opens.
This is the format that Fabiana offers here, at Casa Lotus Azul: two guided meditations per day, one at daybreak and one in the evening. The structure is there, held in place, and the participant has only to slip into it.
What actually happens during a first meditation
Here is a concrete situation that many will recognise.
You are sitting. The guide's voice says to rest your attention on the breath. You do so. For three breaths, it is there. Then your mind drifts — a meeting tomorrow, an unanswered message, the pain in your left knee. You realise you have wandered. You return. Five breaths this time. Then an image, a memory, an idea. You drift again. You return again.
That is a meditation session. That is exactly it. There is nothing else to do.
The question is not: how many times did I drift? The question is: did I notice that I was drifting? Because that moment of noticing — that is precisely what the practice cultivates. A form of awareness of the present moment, however small, however imperfect.
The body before the mind
Many beginners seek a mental experience and forget that they have a body. Yet meditation begins in the body.
Before even trying to quieten thoughts, it is a matter of feeling: the weight of your seat on the cushion, the warmth of your palms resting on your thighs, the movement of your belly with each in-breath. These sensations are concrete, accessible, and they serve as a point of return when the mind wanders.
Here, in the Minho, the setting helps. One hectare of garden, a river below, the mountain all around, no neighbours. The silence is not artificial. It is there, outside, even before you open your eyes. Some people say that they feel their body settle in the first few hours — something they had not anticipated. This is not a promise, only what participants report.
Do you need to know about meditation before coming?
No. The "Return to Self" retreats at Casa Lotus Azul welcome people who have never meditated. There are no prerequisites, no posture to master, no vocabulary to know.
What Fabiana offers even before arrival is a conversation — most often by WhatsApp — to understand what has brought each person. Not to assess their level, but to tailor the support to what is there. On arrival, a brief discussion about motivations allows for further adjustment.
The programme is not fixed. The schedule adapts to the people present. This is not vagueness: it is a way of not fitting real people into a pre-fabricated framework.
If you are wondering what a day on-site actually looks like, the article What a Day at the Quinta Looks Like describes the rhythm of a typical day.
Silence: a tool, not an ordeal
One thing often surprises those who come for the first time: the silence between participants is less difficult to maintain than they imagined. For some, it is even a relief.
At Casa Lotus Azul, the format is that of noble silence: participants do not speak to one another, but you can address Fabiana, in writing. Meals are shared together, in silence. Meditations take place together, in silence.
What happens in this silence is that attention returns to yourself. You are no longer managing social interaction — smiling, responding, being interesting. You are simply there, with whatever arises.
For a beginner, this can seem daunting before arrival. On-site, it is almost always experienced differently. If the prospect of silence concerns you, the article Your First Silent Retreat: 10 Fears, and the Reality will tell you what others thought before you — and what they found.
What you set down on arrival
Your phone is handed in on arrival. It is returned at the end. One number remains reachable for loved ones in case of urgent need.
This measure may seem restrictive. In reality, it is one of the things most commented on after the retreat. Many participants realise, once they are without their screen, how automatically they had been checking it — without any real need, without any intention. This realisation requires no theoretical reflection. It often arrives on its own, within the first few hours.
A small notebook is advised for writing down whatever comes — sensations, questions, images, whatever surfaces. It is not a compulsory journal. It is a place to set down what does not simply evaporate.
What the studies say — with their limitations
Research has been conducted on the effects of meditation retreats and mindfulness programmes. A meta-analysis of meditation retreats, published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 2017 — Khoury, Knäuper, Schlosser, Carrière and Chiesa — brought together 21 studies and 2,912 participants. It measures a moderate effect across various psychological indicators. The authors themselves highlight the lack of methodological rigour in many of the included studies.
What can be said honestly: some people report positive effects. Others report unexpected or difficult effects. A study published in 2021 in Clinical Psychological Science — Britton, Lindahl, Cooper, Canby and Palitsky — indicates that 83% of participants in an eight-week mindfulness programme report at least one side effect, and 58% report an effect experienced negatively. This study concerns an eight-week programme, not a retreat.
This does not mean that meditation is dangerous. It means that it is not neutral, and that it deserves to be approached with attention to what is actually happening — not only to what one hopes for.
If you are going through a recent bereavement, a difficult separation, or if you are receiving psychological support, it is advisable to speak to a healthcare professional before signing up for a retreat.
The monthly meditation: a point of entry with no commitment
If the idea of a three-day retreat still feels too large, there is another door.
Once a month, Casa Lotus Azul opens its doors for a guided meditation, accessible to all, beginners included. It is not a retreat. It is a session, on-site, in the setting of the quinta. It allows you to feel the venue, to encounter the practice guided by Fabiana, and to return if the desire is there.
Dates are shared by WhatsApp at +351 912 823 422.
What Fabiana has observed over twenty-seven years
Fabiana has been leading retreats for twenty-seven years, from Guadeloupe to Costa Rica before Portugal. What this length of time allows one to see is the recurrence of certain things.
The people who benefit most from a first retreat are not those who arrive with precise expectations. They are those who arrive having let go of the idea of achieving something. They do not know exactly what they are looking for — they simply know that they need to stop.
That is a sufficient starting point.
The "Return to Self" retreat lasts three days and two nights, a maximum of eight participants, at €360 per person all-inclusive — accommodation, plant-based full board from the kitchen garden, two guided meditations per day and time for personal work. Individual bookings are accepted.
To see available dates, check the calendar or the retreat overview.
Frequently asked questions
Do you need to be able to stay still for a long time in order to meditate? No. Posture is not a criterion for success. You can sit on a chair, lean against a wall, adjust throughout the session. What matters is the attention brought to bear — not the shape the body takes.
What should you do if thoughts will not stop? This is normal and expected. The practice is not about blocking thoughts but about noticing that you are thinking and returning — to the breath, to the guide's voice, to a sensation in the body. This repeated movement of return is the meditation itself.
Can you take part in a retreat with no experience whatsoever? Yes. The "Return to Self" retreats at Casa Lotus Azul welcome complete beginners. A conversation takes place before arrival, and a discussion about motivations is held on arrival, to tailor the support to each person.
What happens if something difficult surfaces during meditation? Fabiana remains available throughout the retreat. You can write to her or approach her, even outside of sessions. If you have a particular context — recent bereavement, psychological fragility, ongoing support — it is advisable to speak to a healthcare professional before booking.
Is the monthly meditation suitable for someone who has never meditated? Yes. It is explicitly open to all, beginners included. It is a short format, with no commitment, which allows you to try guided practice in the setting of the quinta.
Is your phone really taken away for the entire retreat? It is handed in on arrival and returned at the end. One number remains reachable for loved ones in case of urgent need. This is not a punishment — it is a condition of the silence, and one of the things most positively commented on after the retreat.
How do you know whether a three-day retreat is the right format to start with? The article Guided Silent Retreat: Don't Start on Your Own explores this question. For any query specific to your situation, a conversation by WhatsApp at +351 912 823 422 is the most direct way.
To ask a question or check the next available dates, write to us on WhatsApp at +351 912 823 422.
This article is informative and does not replace medical advice. In case of recent bereavement, a painful separation or psychological fragility, please speak to a health professional before booking.
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Filling Your Retreat: What Actually WorksOur “Return to Self” retreat
Three days in noble silence, in a group of no more than eight, in the heart of the Minho. €360 per person, all inclusive.
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